MaineGeneral Hospice: Still positively impacting the lives of patients, families
Brian Ketchen lost his wife Kellie in 2018 after a long battle with multiple sclerosis that was diagnosed just four years after they married.
He was Kellie’s caregiver for 18 years as her symptoms worsened, all while trying to work full-time at the family business, Dave’s Appliance. It came at great physical cost to Brian, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way.
With Kellie’s mom retired and home during the day, “It was never a choice not to keep her at home,” Brian recalled. “When MaineGeneral Hospice came into our lives, it changed everything. We had the help we needed, which took amazing pressure off us so we could enjoy our remaining time together as a family. With Hospice, we didn’t feel alone.”
In the year after Kellie’s death in 2018, Brian took advantage of the bereavement (grief support) services MaineGeneral Hospice offers to loved ones after a loss, including peer support groups, phone calls and mailings.
“The first year was rough after so much time caring for Kellie and being part of her journey,” he said. “I struggled to redefine my identity, and I needed to be with others who were grieving, widowing, who understood what I was going through. The bereavement support group was a life-saving experience for me, a saving grace. The best way to honor the people we’ve lost is to talk about them, and that’s what the group gave me.”
Brian soon realized he wanted to help others with their grief journeys so he took MaineGeneral Hospice's facilitator training and now leads the bereavement group that helped him so much. These six-week groups for adults grieving the loss of a loved one are offered throughout the year at the Alfond Center for Health in Augusta.
“Group members need to know someone understands them, and we truly do,” he said. “My co-facilitator and I offer a special kind of empathy because we've lost someone special, too. All of us are so grateful to have people to share our memories, joys and struggles with in a safe space, every week. Many connections formed in the group last long after it ends. It’s wonderful to be part of.”
Being a Hospice group facilitator has been a fulfilling and rewarding experience that is hard for Brian to describe.
“It’s so important to me. The things that really matter at the end of life are time and the people we love. Those who live on are truly amazing," he said. "It would be a loss not to know them, to hear their stories and honor the most important people in their lives by listening, laughing and crying with them. My life has been forever changed from this experience.”
While Brian still grieves Kellie every day and knows he always will, he has found love again with a woman who lost her husband at around the same time he lost Kellie.
“Michelle and I met at a celebration of life for a mutual friend and, when we shared our stories, we learned how much we had in common. It was comforting for us to have a friend who knew what the other was going through and was there no matter what was happening.”
Brian and Michelle plan to marry in the future and he knows Kellie would be happy for him.
“She wanted me to find love again. I didn’t think I would, so I feel very fortunate.”
